And more time passes...

It's been way to long since I have posted.

I love being a twin mom. It is just very time consuming. I didn't realize how easy it was to only have one baby at a time. I thought it was so hard. Not that it isn't hard to have one, but that 2 is so different. My babies are so well behaved though that it's actually pretty easy now that we have a somewhat schedule. Nothing that can't be worked around because I hate set schedules with kids. My older daughters help me out so much and I appreciate them even more! I love my daughters. I am so very blessed.

We've been doing and deciding alot about our family lately. We have so many things to still decide that my head feels like it's swimming! We are so blessed to have what we have and live in a great town and our daughters go to an awesome school. I've been dealing with people not liking what I have to say or what I believe but the childish way in which they deal with it is on them. Never have I pushed what I believe on anyone. It's just a shame that some people can not think for themselves. When you follow someone else you lose yourself. I definately beat to my own drummer and I'm truly happy. Most people can't say that. I know who I am, what I want and where I'm going. No one can take that from me. I just feel bad when I see people that don't have a mind of their own. Then other people take things so personally when it has nothing to do with them! It drives me up a wall. These past few months have been a real eye opener for me. I see so many people doing so many things thinking they are getting one over on others and talking trash when they have no clue how bad that makes them look. Sigh* I just pray and know I'm not perfect. At least I admit that and strive to do my best. God has given me so much and I have what most people don't get to experience ever in their life. I honestly have one of those loves that people get jealous over and will do anything to mess it up. It's wonderful to be above the nonsense and know you have a best friend, love and partner for life! Greg you are my best friend. You are amazing and I love you! All the nonsense and crap we've been through is all worth it to have you every night and every day! You are a wonderful daddy and husband. You provide for us more than just a roof over our heads and dinner on the table, you provide us all with love. From me, to Mia who you love like your own, to our big girl Gracie and our little twinkies, Zoe and Olivia. We are blessed more than stuff, we have love. In abundance. That is such a true joy to know. If people could learn from you how to be a man than this world would be a better place! Thank you!

That being said. My photography is doing really well. I love it and I love making people feel great when they see the pictures and seeing how adorable their kids are the looks I capture from husband to wife and vice versa. It's a joy to photograph all the nuances of life.

Duty calls... Time to feed the twins...

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I am on a diet! I'm trying to hit my goal by My birthday. 50 lbs in 5 months. I really think it's possible! I need to so that I feel healthy. It's all about moderation and I'm going to keep at it til I get to my goal! At the halfway mark I'm going to celebrate and post again. That should be sometime in December. I'm going to work hard so next summer I'll look better than I did before I got pregnant with the twins. I can do this! I can do this! Greg's on the diet with me too. I'm not doing some fad I'm just watching my calories and fat and carbs. I want to be healthy and thin like I was when Greg and I got back together 3 years ago. I was 148 lbs. I can do that again! In about 2 weeks it will be 3 years since we got back together and 6 years this week since we started dating. October is a our month apparently, and it's his birth month too. That's just another reason fall is my favorite season!

It's been far too long!!

These are Zoe's Toes. My little girl has pretty big feet! I love my little girls! So glad they are here and filling up my days with diaper changes and nursing them. It's amazing how great they are and how we've just adapted to having twins. I don't even feel like there's two unless they cry at the same time. lol They hardly ever cry. I am so absolutely blessed to have them! Mia and Gracie love* their new sisters so much! They are both such a big help and Grace just does so well with them. I am so proud of them and how well they have adjusted to being a family with 4 kids instead of just 2. I love them all dearly. God has blessed me and my family so much.

One Sunday this summer my parents took the twins so we could go to the beach with the big girls and just have fun and both of us go in the water with them. It was a perfect summer day! The only sad part was I got bit by one of those awful green head flies and had to go to the ER. Ugh! I had to go alone and get steroids because one of the bites got swollen, red and hot. Gross! They gave me a triple shot of steroids and it went down by the next night.

When the twins were first born they both fit in the bassinet together. For the most part they would just sleep together and soothe each other. They barely cried when they were together. Every once in a while if I didn't get to them fast enough after they woke up to feed them they would start trying to eat each others arms and faces. It was cute til they would start yelling at each other. I just adore them!

This is one of my favorite pictures from the day one the beach. I actually got waist deep with my expensive camera to get the shots I wanted. At one point the waves were starting to break up my back and neck. the strap on my camera got wet. It was a great day with my big girls and husband. I love my baby girls, but my big girls needed the attention that day and they thoroughly enjoyed mommy and daddy paying 100% attention to them for a few well deserved hours.

These girls are so awesome! I love editing the pictures I take of them as much as I love capturing the pictures. They just bring so much light into my life. With out them I think my world would be so boring. I always knew I wanted kids I just nevered realized how much I would completely love being a mommy. My children are the light of my life. God gives me so much. We have some things, but we have more in love than we do anything else. I would much rather have this great love we all share than all the stuff in the world. Stuff doesn't giggle with you when you're being silly in the kitchen making cupcakes. Stuff doesn't surprise you with a clean living room and clean kids and a hot meal on the table. Yes, I believe I'll take all the love we have over stuff anyday!

I love how the just play! It's so amazing to see them play like kids. Being an adult it's sometimes hard to let go like a child and just play but these kids know how to bring it out in you. I'd be pretty boring with out them. They make me a better person. The man I married makes me a better person. We push each other to be better. He makes me so happy. I don't know many people who have the kind of love we share. Anyone who doesn't see the love we share is  probably a complete emotional void. Love like ours doesn't come around very often and when it does you embrace it and hold onto it for all it's worth. He's my better half.

My pretty princesses in their preemie outfits. They were so tiny! I am so blessed they got to come home with us! I'll finish my birth story now...

The night I went into labor I just remember being starving. Greg worked late and I asked him to stop and get me a Big Mac. lol

After I ate my sandwich about 20 minutes later I had to go potty. I stood up and started walking across the living room. About half way across I heard a ripping sound. My head whipped around and I looked at Greg and I asked him if he heard it. He said no because he was talking to the big girls. I went to the bathroom and my water started leaking. The ripping noise was my water breaking!

I called Greg in and he started getting all panicky, it was super cute. Mia had fallen asleep in the few minutes I was in the bathroom. Greg went over to her and told her it was time for the twins to come and she shot up and while Greg hopped in the shower she dressed herself her sister and finished packing their bag. In the 5 minutes it took Greg to shower my contractions became unbearable! I was bouncing around the house like a ball because they were so intense. We left the house around 12:00. We dropped the girls off at his parents house and got to the hospital at 12:34, great number. lol

They checked me and I was already 7 cm. My contractions were right on top of each other. They asked how long I had been in labor it had only been like 35-40 minutes. I told them to hurry up and for some dumb reason they debated on whether or not it was time to take me to the O.R. because unfortunately that is where twins are delivered.

When they got smart after I told them they had 15-20 minutes til I had these babies they took me to the O.R. The anasthesiologist showed up and everything was going so fast they didnt give me an IV yet so they had him give it to me. Well by the time the jerk started putting it in I was pushing Zoe out at 12:54am. Then as I'm getting ready to push Olivia out 6 min later at 1:00am he's telling me that if anything goes wrong they'll have to give me general anasthesia. Really dude? I'm didn't need an epidural for any of my labors, what makes you think half way through me pushing my twins out I'm going to need one? Can I say my hips popped back into place after I had them! They shrunk right back and my cracked pelvis healed awesome! The hardest most painful thing I have ever done in my life has been to carry my twins full term. I now know how strong I am and there isn't anything in this world that I can't do. If I can deal with the pain of carrying twins and the super intense short labor, nothing can hurt that badly. It was the most intense hour of pain in my life. The labor for Mia and Grace was easy compared to my labor with the twins. I guess it took a lot to put everything to rights after because I had tons of pain after delivery too. I never needed the motrin, but this time I took it, gladly! When I nursed the contractions were terrible like I was still in labor. Ugh! But I stuck it out and now I have fabulous nursers, 3 months later. They are still on the small side but they are really healthy little girls. Strong and hitting their milestones perfectly. They are my little miracles. I am so glad God gave me the opportunity to be a mom to twin little princesses. Amazing to see them grow and change and do things the same day or a few days apart.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It's been soo long!

I just wanted to put something up for now. I haven't been on and updated in a while because I have been so busy from taking care of 4 kids now. I have doubled my children in one pregnancy. lol I am so happy with my babies and I couldn't be happier since they've been born. I've been sleep deprived a little bit since they've arrived but I would rather have them out then have them in my belly causing all that crazy horrible pain. I had them at exactly 37 wks from my last period. I am madly in love with my little ladies! I wouldn't trade them for anything they make me sooo happy. My big girls have been such a huge help.

I had such an easy labor and delivery, besides the crazy anestesioligists who wanted to do more than give me an IV while I was pushing. He really annoyed me. Other than that It was fantastic! I'll add more later with a more detailed birth story. :)

Repost of my ticker...

So close but yet feels sooo far!!

So, I'm 32 weeks 3 days now and I really just want to be done!!! This is the worst pain I have ever been in! Any one who sees my facebook knows all this. I just wish that I could magically have my babies be healthy and fully matured and come out like next week! My belly looks like it's dropping already and I hope it is cause if this is the pressure I have to deal with and they haven't really dropped I will be so upset cause that means the bad pain is yet to come. I really think that my labors are way worse than I think they are but because I have so much pain up til the end that it doesn't feel as bad because I've built up a pain tolerance like a mo fo during pregnancy... lol I think that is the best way to put it. haha








So this wednesday I went to the hospital for my TTTS ultrasound and my NST and I really, I mean really hated it!!! It was so uncomfortable and it made me contract to terribly! And they made me do it for another 10 min or so after I was done!! I understand that the amount of contractions I was having was alarming but it was because of the position I was in and the 3 bands wrapped around my belly!! It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to do. I was so irritated I started to cry and the contractions I was having were the worst ones I've had so far. I really think that one of these tuesdays that I have to go for the ultrasounds I will wind up in labor from the irritation. I think the contractions I have during the tests will make me dilate and my water break. At least I'll be in the hospital already.





So, being pregnant as time goes by I get really upset about certain things. My husband, Greg, rides a motorcycle. Today some woman was driving her car so far up his butt she almost hit him and I was behind her. Honestly if she had hit him I would have stopped my car too and punched her in the face!!! So me being the crazy hormonal person I've become I screamed out my window at her to back off! Then she stopped on a dime and made a left. I yelled at her again. She truly needs driving lessons! Who in their right mind rides right up a person on a motorcycles rear! People are sooo stupid!





One of the other things bothering me is how many people that are trying to get pregnant that want twins... I know twins are cute and you think one pregnancy and done. I truly don't think people get that it's high risk to begin with and that it is HARD on your body! You have to eat more, gain more, worry more, go to the Dr's more and even if you do everything you possible can for the babies things can still go wrong! I have done everything above and beyond for my babies and they still have issues. One of my precious little girls isn't gaining as much weight as her sister. The bigger twin has a better spot on the placenta and is getting better/more nutrition because of it. I have done everything in my power but this can still happen. I am hoping that my girls gain weight like crazy! I'm having a hard time eating much. I'm just not hungry and food doesn't seem as appealing to me anymore. I think I'm just getting tired of being pregnant and I'm close to the end so I'm starting to just rest a lot.




Another thing is I've been looking on a lot of forums this pregnancy and for the most part people are kind and helpful. I also have been seeing a lot of young girls that are pregnant and they have no clue what is going on. I honestly got most of my information from good pregnancy books I bought and googling a few things for more indepth answers. I also ask my dr things all the time. I actually have a friend that is an ob/gyn and I can just test her when I can't find an answer. She's amazing. I just wish that when you got pregnant for the first time your Dr would hand you required reading material so that these young women could be informed about their bodies and what is going on with their babies. There is so much false information going around and I can't correct everyone because people will believe what they want to. I just wish that if I did have the time to do it that people wouldn't look at me like a know it all or a pushy person. I just know the falsehoods that get passed around as truth and it breaks my heart seeing people feed into the bs that they hear. Its not right and I get really bent outta shape. Not angry just upset that these people don't know that truth. I appreciated everyone who gave me good advice and sent me in the right direction. These woman get upset if you tell them something other than what they've believed or heard from a friend or just plain made up themselves. I pray for them that someone they respect in their lives comes along and gives them good advice.




Ok, enough rants. I am in pain hoping this pregnancy ends in like 3 weeks and praying the babies are completely healthy and grow a lot more. I am very excited and I don't want to rush them out but I am in pain and pray they are mature. Love my aliens!!!

My joking turned reality

So, jokingly I have been saying for a few months that Olivia makes me eat a lot, and Zoe makes me eat healthy. Well, at my ultrasound today we found out that Olivia is about 12 oz bigger than Zoe. The last few times they have been pretty close like a quarter pound or less. Now they are 3 quarters of a pound apart and it happened in the last 4 weeks. From now on I have to go once a week and get an ultrasound and NST. So, I will be in the hospital for about 3 hours or so every tuesday. Yay me... :( I have to find a sitter which is going to be a pain, cause we can't really pay anyone right now.

Olivia went from 1 lb 15 oz in four weeks to 3 lbs 7 oz and Zoe went from 1 lb 11 oz in four weeks to 2 lbs 11 oz. I'm just upset because I can't do anything to beef her up on my own. I'm really tired from all of the things I learned this morning. I have to take a nap. I'll add more later.

Dr Updates from my lastest test results...

I've been meaning to put a few facts about twins up on my blog considering the confusion that has even come from every angle including a few L&D nurses I know. I am pregnant with Monozygotic twins, which means they came from 1 egg and 1 sperm splitting in two and that makes them identical. They can only be boy/boy or girl/girl. Mine are seperated by a membrane which means they are Monozygotic/Diamnionic. This kinda of identical twins is your most common. They can also be monozygotic/monoamnionic which means they are in the same sac with no seperating membrane. Mo/mo twins are very high risk. Identical twins can also be Dizygotic/Diamnionic. Which means they have seperate sacs and placentas. This only occurs if the egg splits early enough on that they can implant in seperate locations. Identical twins share the same genetics which attributes to them looking alike. My Dad and Husband are both Dizygotic twins, which means they are fraternal. They can be boy/girl, girl/girl or boy/boy. About half of Dizygotic twins are boy/girl. They are from 2 seperate eggs being fertilized by 2 seperate sperm. They are almost always in 2 seperate sacs and have 2 seperate placentas. Very rarely do the placentas fuse causing some confusion but a Dr who has delivered multiple sets of twins can usually tell by inspecting the placenta. They are about the same as any two brothers and sisters can be. All twin gestation are considered full term at 38 weeks by most obstetricians and it is not unusual for mothers to be induced at this time. Risks of going to term with twins are: the potential for cord prolapse, intrauterine fetal death of one baby and twin to twin transfusion. Mothers too may be at higher risk of placental abruption, hemorrhage and hypertension An estimated 50% of twins are born prior to 36 weeks gestation. This is due to a lot of factors. 2 of the top ten I have issues with already. 1 being preterm labor. I don't know why my body does this but I go into labor early and dilate to soon. I am about 3 cm dilated now at 28 weeks 5 days. 2 I also have placenta problems. It has cleared away for me to hopefully have another natural delivery but their is still the chance of placental abruption because they share the same placenta. If you carry your twins past 38 weeks the environment in utero starts to deteriorate. With a singleton pregnancy you would be safe to carry to about 42 weeks before a Dr would intervene but with twins you shouldn't let them go past 39 weeks. Which is a full 3 weeks sooner. Also, for the working pregnant mom of twins, considering your work environment, you may have to go on maternity leave as early as 24 weeks. Most Dr's I've dealt with suggest no later than 28 weeks. My dr wanted me to be done at 24 weeks because of the issues that had already come up this time. Good thing I wasn't working.

28 weeks and Counting, Quickly!

Yay! We finally found a van worth buying and that we could afford cash! Well, we had a little help from my in-laws. It's so wonderful to see that everything falls into place so nicely. Thank you so so much! :) I love it! It's a 6 cyl, '02 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport. 4 captains chairs and it's xl! Love that part! We have so much room for all of our kids and stuff. And yes there is seating for 7 and absolutely not filling it with another child of ours! 4 is plenty for anyone! Yesterday was an awful rainy day... :( We got a gift card from Macy's for doing the Thanks for Sharing thing and we got a pretty decent sized gift card. So we went there and I got my much awaited spring make up thanks to the wonderful Clinique counter lady who remembers me and gives me double the free stuff. She's awesome!!! We also got a few outfits for the babies and bought Mia and Grace new bathing suits. Early but I like to have them before they are slim pickings. I did Gracie's make up when I did mine. She loves being a big girl with mommy! Then here are my regular preggo picks that I've been doing every 3 weeks. These are 28 weeks 3 days. Next two times will be every two weeks and after 32 weeks I'll do every week because it could be anytime after that... I don't want to miss any of this twin pregnancy. It's been getting better for me. It sounds weird but Greg got me new sneakers and since then my back hasn't been bothering me too much and my contractions haven't been so close together like we feared might happen. I love that I'm not on that terrible medication! It was so bad! I am just happy to be feeling like a normal preggo now.

It's getting sooo big! I should correct myself and say they are getting so big and making me huge! I"ve only gained 26 lbs but it feels like 50! I'm not swelling yet but I didn't really swell that much with my other pregnancies. My ankles are a little bigger but with this huge belly it's to be expected. I would be shocked if I wasn't a little swollen.

My Dr is awesome! He makes me feel pretty good. I can tell he's not to thrilled with my weight gain so far because I started pretty high for me. I plan on losing it this time so I can get healthy again. I felt really awesome when Greg and I first got back together and I hope to get back to that feeling. For my big family of little ladies and for myself to be able to keep up with the demands and feel good about myself. It's going to be an interesting ride and I can not wait to take on this new adventure! God has definately blessed us immensely so far and most people don't even know the half of it! If you're curious about all of the wonderful things that have gone on for us in our lives feel free to ask me. I'd love to share all of the things God's given us and has done for us this year alone!

Thank you friends and family for wanting to be involved in our lives and hear what's going on. If there's anything else you want to know about just let me know in comments below or on facebook. I'd be happy to share with you all what goes on in our lives. It's a blessing to have you in our lives and a privilege to share it with you! <3 ALL OF US!!

And the beat goes on

I feel like I haven't posted in so long and it has been almost 2 weeks! I think I'm going through withdrawal! haha So, we've been looking for a van since we found out we were having twins, so about 5 months now. We finally found one. I'm very happy with what we found. It's a 2002 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport XL. It was worth waiting for. 1 owner, garage kept, non smoking, and clean!! It runs nice and it has the captains chairs, power and 6 cyl engine we wanted. God definately knows what we need and has been answering our prayers one by one. We need two cribs and my mom was going to buy the 2 convertible cribs for us and she found them decently cheap for like 160ish each. I have a friend who looks out for me that works at Sears and she found convertible cribs for $29.99!!! What a blessing!!! She has definately made it easier on my parents and us! She said she's going to keep an eye out for the mattresses too! We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives. I have been feeling a little better/more tired again. I'm not contracting as badly as we feared. God again is in control and taking care of my little angels. I am however in so much pain! My poor body is going through the ringer. My stomach is stretched so tight! Olivia and Zoe have like zero room left. I think that whoever is on my right side did her final flip to head down now and I think she will be stuck that way til I deliver. It was the most excruciating pain to have her do that. They are also pretty low too. After a long day of just being a mommy I have such terrible pain in my lower belly and the hip area and tops of my thighs. I hope God helps them mature pretty quickly so I don't have to be in pain like this for 10 more weeks. I hope they come a little early but not to early. It's starting to hurt me so much. Ok enough complaining! We've been buying diapers already because we are going to need them. Plus, we get gift cards from babies r us if we buy them when they have a special buy on the weekends. I've been trying to pay off my credit card so we can get whatever baby stuff we don't get at the shower. Speaking of which I have to get the addresses and list to my mom. I should do that this week. I have to find my address book again. I forget where I put it, again! Ugh! I need to get more organized before these babies come. We've been just throughing things out lately. We need to anyway. We just have too much stuff. We've also been praying for a house. We know that one won't just pop out of the sky or get handed to us, but we really need to find a house to rent with a fenced yard, 3 decent size bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a washer and dryer for around $1,000 a month. It's possible to find but the houses are usually in bad areas and with Mia and Grace in school we can't risk that. Especially because kids can be so mean, even at a young age. My neighborhood now is bad. The kids have no respect. The other thing bothering me.... Why are kids so awful these days? They have no respect! They walk out into the street without looking and give you a dirty look for honking to let them know they are doing something dangerous. The parents go at each other instead of punishing their kids. Take care of your kids! Raise them right! It's awful to think what this country will be like 20 years from now. The kids are truly little brats! I completely blame the parents! Some kids do have disabilities but not all of them. I feel like I live in a twilight zone of rotten to the core children running around cursing, fighting, being mean, vindictive and just all around horrendous to each other. If my kids turn out bad it's my fault. I will have nice, polite, well behaved children if it kills me. They will respect adults and love God. I can not stand the parents that let their children run out of the house first thing in the morning and drive around the neighborhood calling for their kids at 10:00 at night. Oh and the kids they are looking for are 6-7 years old no less. At an age where they still need to be supervised and no not by your 8-9 year old sibling or neighbor. Get real people! Children need guidance! Without it they will fail and fall and become awful adults. If you think your kid fighting is cool you should not by any means be a parent. It's just sickening the things I witness living in this neighborhood. Well, I think I vented enough about stuff. I'm going to bed. This Friday into Saturday night is my picture night so I'll post more belly pics in the middle of the night again. Thanks for reading! Goodnight!

Getting sleepy

This week has gone by so fast! So much has happened but not so much. I'm off my meds = scary good thing. I'm now experiencing the worst kind of reflux and heartburn!! It keeps me from sleeping! I can barely eat anything! It happens like 2 hours after I eat too which I think is pretty weird. My throat feels like it's on fire! I want to eat but it hurts so bad I feel like I can't. I finally start eating the past few weeks and now this comes up. Ugh! What can I do? Someone offered us their Mini van which is another blessing. I also have a good friend who is a car salesman looking for a van or large SUV looking for us too. He's found a few things but he's actually been pretty picky for us which I appreciate. Mia and Grace love feeling their sisters kick and think it is the coolest feeling in the world. They say 'oh they are kicking me with their tiny feet!' It's adorable! Love that they love their sisters already and call them by name. All of my little girls are precious to me and I am so blessed to have so many. *Children are amazing and challenging, but well worth it! Let them be little, give them hope, give them praise, give them love everyday! Just let them be little! * Love this saying!! *How do you measure your success? By the number of smiles on my daughters faces!!* Another fave... My children mean the world to me and I am so blessed! My whole family is wonderful and I am so grateful for each and everyone of them. Always ready with an ear to lend, shoulder to cry on and an encouraging word. It is a blessing to have a great family and support system in this world because there are a lot of people with awful families our there. I know what I have and thankfully God keeps me humble or humbles me when I need it and keeps me safe and meets all of my needs. I don't know how anyone doesn't believe there is a God. If you walked in my shoes and have had happen, what I have and have witnessed the miracles that I have, in my own life, you would believe too. It's so easy to see the bad and unfortunate in life. What has gotten me through all of the bad times and hard parts is knowing that I am so blessed, and counting those blessings. If you just open your eyes to the beauty right in front of you maybe your life would feel a little more fulfilled. The good people in your life that help you and raise you up and encourage you are there for reasons. Always remember "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so, you may have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13:2 Well, Greg is on his way home from work... I'm going to try to relax and get rid of this reflux before he gets home. Love that wonderful man of mine!!

Seriously...

Soo.... Today I had a very angry morning. I find breastfeeding to be a wonderful way to show your baby how much you care. It's definately a sacrifice for the mom to breast feed. I know that there are people out there that can't for so many different reasons. I understand it perfectly. I had issues with bfing my oldest daughter around 4 months and had to stop. I cried when I gave her, her first bottle of formula. I felt like I was a failure. I put the pressure on myself. I wanted to succeed and because I was young and didn't have the resources available to me then, that I have today, I felt I had to stop. With my second daughter I did everything the lactation consultant suggested I do to get my supply up and boy did I have a supply! I could have fed two children with the amount of milk I made! It was a blessing and a huge relief considering I worked 8-10 hours a day 4-5 days a week. She could eat and I could pump for her to have later. I actually continued to lactate for almost a year after she stopped bfing. This is the reason for this post... I saw on my facebook that people were offended by a breast feeding doll. My opinion on it is I won't spend that much money on a special doll, my girls will just play with the dolls they have. If they choose to pretend to bf them like mommy does their twin sisters so be it. No, I don't think my children will have sex because of bfing nor do I think it's perverted for them to witness, or for them to imitate. I find bfing natural and beautiful. Dirty minds have made what's naturally best for our babies a frowned upon thing. I don't go around telling moms that bottle feed their babies that they are feeding their children fake artificial food, with possibility of dead bugs ground up in them and they are gross for subjecting my child to witnessing them abusing their child from the inside out. Seriously could you imagine me doing that? No way!! I would never because I know how much it hurt me that I couldn't continue to bf my oldest daughter to a year old because of personal issues I would never hurt another person that way, especially because you don't know why they are doing what they are doing. I honestly could never afford to formula feed twins. We'd go broke! I can't work and make enough to pay a sitter and buy formula with twins it's just not going to happen. In saying that, my decision is just that my decision. I've heard every line in the book about breastfeeding twins and It will be so hard and all this other crap. I know what I want out of my parenting experience, I have expectations of myself. I will do what I think is best for my babies and I know that bfing is the right way to go.

The Dr says....

Mia and Grace at Aunt Pat's on Labor day Looking off into the sky... Airplanes?

Gracie is probably being nosy and trying to see what's under her.

Mia watching her cousins play around,

So, today I had another complication from my medication. This time my legs got swollen and turned all red, got hot, felt like fire going up and down them and were all blotchy and my face got all red. I had a few blotches on my arms and I didn't really check anywhere else. I called my fabulous Dr and asked him what I should do. He asked me about my meds how long ago I took it and all that good stuff. He said If I feel it necessary to go to the hospital to have it checked out. I didn't think it was necessary I just wanted to know if he thought it was serious. I waited another 45 min because Greg was food shopping and he had the girls with him. When Greg got home he checked my legs again and said the looked better and they weren't as hot as they had been. I think it's a weird side affect from my meds. The best news from all of this craziness is that my Dr told me to stop taking my meds!!! The bad part is I don't want to have my babies so soon. I think I'm going to call and see if I can get into see my Dr a little sooner and have a talk with him about what our next course of action will be to keep me from going into labor. I want to make it to at least 32 weeks. I'm nervous about having them too soon but I don't want to have all of these terrible side affects taking over my life and possibly causing a blood clot or something worse. Being pregnant with twins already raises my chances of blood clots and pre-eclampsia and I feel that this medication will make those things happen if I were to continue to take them. I have had the worst pregnancy so far and I am thankful that this will be my last pregnancy. I don't think I could do this again. I have so much pressure on my lower stomach and upper thighs it's unimaginable and I didn't get this until 5-6 weeks before I gave birth to Grace. If this follows the same timeline pain and weird feelings wise I may or may not make it 32 weeks. I want to have my babies be safe and healthy and be ready for the world. Friends and family that read my blog please be praying for my babies and me that we can have a safe and a healthier end to this pregnancy than what we have been through so far. I want my babies safe and healthy. That is my ultimate goal. I love them so much already and I know that within a few days I will start contracting like crazy again. I thank God everyday for them and my whole family. I love our home and being a mommy to all of my girls and a wife to my wonderful, handsome husband. Just keep us in prayer that everything works out. Til I post again! Goodnight! <3

The twins are 25 weeks 3 days and counting....

A sister is a gift from God, to make life worthwhile here below... My Gracie and my Mia snuggling on the couch cause they lovies each other so much... They are such good girls. Love my little angels... Can't wait til I have all of my little girls together! I can't wait for all of them to meet. I'm so blessed to have these little girls because the love sisters have for each other is so wonderful!

It's big enought to photograph from the front and show how big it is!! These babies are growing!!

I can not wait to meet the little angels that are kicking around in my belly!

Love my baby belly. I'm very proud of being pregnant and even though I have difficult pregnancies, I love every moment of it. I'm so excited for these baby girls...

Now that I'm settling into my medication, I'm starting to have a little more energy. I just move so slow. There are so many things I want to and need to do that it's overwhelming but for some reason I don't feel choked by it. I know I'll get it done in time and if not then oh well. I know i'm going to have to adjust my life for the twins so it's not really a shock. The only thing that scares me is that my Mia and Grace will feel like the twins are more important when they are all my babies and I love them equally. So much goes on in my head about what it will be like and what I'll have to do and adjust.

Medication! Ugh, why can't this be normal

My daughter Mia is in Ballet classes and I took a few pictures of her classes. When she started in December, here are two.

I just thought I would add some cuteness to the page with her dance class and classmates.

On a yuck note, I've been so tired!

The weekend before last I was having contractions like crazy and I was in a lot of pain. I drank a ton and rested on my left side. They continued getting worse over the weekend. Monday morning I called my Ob to see what he suggested I do. I was told to go over to the hospital to get checked out. I was there for about 5-6 hours while they monitored the babies, gave me an ultrasound and monitored my contractions. They gave me Terbutaline which is very unpleasant. They sent me home on Procardia which is almost as awful! I was started out on 4 doses a day and that was just the worst. For about 3 days I took it as prescribed. It was making me feel so dizzy, nauseous, shaky,breathless and made my blood pressure rise so much that I couldn't fuction. I called the Dr's office Thursday afternoon and told them how much it was affecting me and they took me down 1 dose a day. Since then I have been feeling so much better. I take 2-3 a day and I don't have more than 3-5 contractions a day which is fine by my dr and I don't have the extreme side affects I was having from taking so many doses. Thank God!!!

I'm feeling the way I did before I got severe bronchitis and started having to many contractions. Just super super tired and very pregnant. Well, I'm definately more pregnant than before. It's still hard for me to concentrate beyond a few paragraphs but I have so much to do before the babies are here and I don't want to forget anything. I'm catching up on things 5-10 minutes at a time which is better than not attempting to use that time to be productive at all. Tonight I have 3 things I would like to finish. Tomorrow I'll attempt to do 3 more. *Contraction* Ugh!

Ok well, I'm going to go spend some time with Mia and Grace while I'm still feeling ok. Feel free to comment or follow me... I look forward to some feedback. :)

Cute!!!

I just thought this was cute to add to the blog! It's an awesome countdown!!!

It's Huge!!!

22 weeks 3 days!!! It's huge! It grew so large so fast! I can't believe how fast it grew. It seems like over night it doubled in size! My pretty babies! I love how Gracie has already nicknamed them and she calls them by their names. They both do. It's really adorable.

I really do have the most awesome husband ever! I can't believe how awesome he is. Every day with him gets better and better. I love how he takes care of us and how much the girls love him. I'm so lucky!

I have been thinking about my new babies a lot lately and wondering who they will look like, what color eyes they will have, and what they will be like when they are born. I really am just excited to be a mom to infants again. When we decided to try for a boy we really didn't think about twins. It just didnt cross our minds until I was so tired and things were so different from my other pregnancies. We were hoping this pregnancy would go something like the other ones because we kinda knew what to expect this being number 3. Well, so much for that happening. Talk about surprise! I'm so glad that we have had as much time as we have to get used to and plan for twins. It's exciting. I just hope we get lots of diapers at my baby shower!

Another day...

I can not wait for summer! I wish we could take a family vacation again this summer! Next year! It will be more fun with the twins being a little older too.

Ugh!! My husband is watching Predators and I'm sitting here trying not to look up to often because I don't do scary well. I am not liking what I am hearing and seeing as I occasionally look up.

Today was a lovely day. We got a lot done together as a family. We've had a few kids over this week playing and visiting, so we had quite the mess in the play room to straighten up. We did it as a family and it got done pretty fast. I love doing things together. We get so much more done that way. My Mia is a wonderful cleaner. She helps so much and I'm so blessed to have her! Grace on the other hand is just starting to learn how to clean up her toys properly. She does other things really well, she likes to clean up in the kitchen more than clean up her toys.

Tomorrow we have a few more things to get done and a lot of running around to do. I hope I can get a good nights sleep tonight so I can function tomorrow. I usually need about 12-14 hours a day like an infant. It's awful! I'm used to being able to function great on 6 or 7. This being pregnant with twins is really different for me from what I'm used to activity level wise. It's so weird to feel ready to pass out at the drop of a hat. I can't wait til they are born and we get on a schedule so that I can start feeling more normal again and get back to my normal levels of craziness in my life. I love being busy and doing things with my kids and husband. I've been testing out having 4 kids and it's not that bad. Everyone has someone to play with and it kinda is easier. It's just bigger messes.

I am going to try to go to sleep since I have to pick up my moms van and get the bunk beds from my parents house and then come back here and pick up some stuff that is going to my moms house til we move because we need to get rid of some stuff so that the new babies will have a bedroom. I feel bad my older girls will lose their playroom to the twins but I'm glad we just have another bedroom to put the babies in.

Everything in my life has fallen into place. Some people may look at our lives and judge because they wouldn't do things the way we are doing them but I have not regrets about any of it. I have a saying I heard once, Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation. Making assumptions about someone else's life will only get you in trouble. You don't know what people deal with each day or why they do what they do. Don't assume. God is the only one fit to judge.

Olivia and Zoe

This is an ultrasound from 14 weeks. They like being close to each other already.

This is an ultrasound of the twins heads facing each other at 19 weeks. It's a top view. You can see their little fists up like little boxers.

This is me 19 weeks 3 days pregnant... Twins

This is me 19 weeks 3 days pregnant... Twins

Everything is so crazy! We are having two more little girls! I was hoping for a little boy for my wonderful, supportive, handsome, and amazing husband but it wasn't to be. We are having two more girls! They are healthy and growing well.

We found out I have placenta previa which kinda sucks. It could be worse. The worst thing that will come of it is I might bleed a little and have to go to the hospital and have an emergency c-section. Which is actually my worst nightmare after having 2 completely natural births with my older daughters. I'm not a fan of medication for myself and def not for babies unless absolutely necessary. So, please pray for my placenta to move up and out of the way of my babies coming out the natural way. I'm not keen on having my belly cut in half, whether I have an amazing Dr or not.

Oh... The girls names are Olivia Rose and Zoe Leigh. I can not wait to meet them! I'm 22 weeks now and I have about 14-16 weeks til they are here and I just want to hold them! They are kicking everyday, a lot! It's like having little kangaroos in your belly. If ones not moving around the other is. I can't really tell which is which but they move a lot! So, I know it's not just one doing all the crazy movements. It's so cool to know that two little girls are growing in my belly! It's the coolest ever. It's such a cool proud feeling, knowing that I have two. I hope it's not wrong feeling like I'm super lucky because God chose me to have these sweet little people entrusted two at a time to me!!! It's wonderful! I hope that I can stand up to the standard he has set me up against with giving me two babies at once. I have to admit it was a struggle with my other two, but I mainly did it on my own. This time being properly married to such a fantastic man will make my journey all the sweeter and easier. God does know what he's doing and I accept the challenge he has set before us.

It has been such a wonderful journey so far. I have been sick the past two weeks but I'm starting to feel better. I went to the hospital last Sunday. I was soo sick it was just awful. They gave me a test for strep and the flu but thank God both came back negative. I just had a bad case of bronchitis. They wanted to do a chest xray to see if I had pneumonia but I said no to that. If it got worse then I would have gone back but I just slept for like 5 days after that. Each day I take an hour or two nap. I'm just so run down that I need to sleep. I'm figuring that my body is telling me what I need and I listen when I get tired and need to rest. The basics get done around the house and Greg is an amazing help with the rest. He's even an excellent cook! For my birthday he made me a chocolate cake with vanilla icing and it was fantastic!!! One of the best cakes I've ever had! I truly am a lucky woman! I have 2 wonderful little girls and an awesome husband who can handle anything that's been put in his path and is also a sweet man. I can't wait to have my new little ladies in the mix. Greg is just wonderful.

Well, regardless of what the time says on this post, it's 1:36 am and I need to get to sleep because my Mia has a big day at school tomorrow. I'm so proud of her for memorizing the readers oath they sent home. It was pretty long! She did such a great job that Greg rewarded her hard work by taking us all to Friendly's for ice cream. We had such a great family night. I'm going to miss Greg when he starts working full time again.

More soon!

We know but we're not telling yet!!

My handsome husband! I love his Mohawk but he doesn't like it that much. I just don't think he likes to have to 'do' his hair.

My daughters this past fall. I can't help but take pictures of them. They are so stinking cute!

Ok, so this past thursday we had our anatomy ultrasound and we found out the sex of the twins! We aren't telling until this weekend, sorry we want our parents to hear first. We also found out that I have placenta previa. Which can be dangerous to my and the babies health if it doesn't clear up, especially as I get closer to delivery of my bundles of joy.

This has been the greatest time for me and my husband because we know something and it's pretty neat seeing how people don't like not being in the know. Everyone we know that has ever been pregnant hasn't kept the babies sex a secret, unless they didn't find out themselves. So, our keeping the secret for just a few days is really getting to people.

We are deciding whether or not to share the babies names with everyone. Every time I tell someone a name I want to use, they say oh I'm going to use that... It's annoying to the extreme!

This time I'm just going to tell people to lay off my baby names! I don't want to hear anyone naming their kids what I name mine for a long time! I have names already set in my mind, basically for years. I picked them out before I even had kids or thought about having them.

Now, I just kinda have to pick out definate middle names. That part will be easy. We already have one set.

I've been going through tons of emotions this week. We've been so busy that I haven't been able to sleep like I need to and I've been running through the pregnancy emotional gambit. Everything I'm not supposed to do or have happen I've done or had happen this week.

Ohhhh!!! Everyday the babies kicks get stronger and stronger!! It's so awesome to feel! I just wish it was a little bit harder so that Greg could feel it too. He gets jealous that I get to feel all of this cool stuff with the babies and he has to wait for all of it. Even just feeling them move he has to wait. He gets to see them first no matter how I give birth so I think that's unfair! I carried them and have to eat mountains of food to keep them healthy, why does he get to meet them first?

It's really late so I'm going to head to bed... I'll try to scan the ultrasound pictures this weekend so I can post and narrate them. I'm just getting more and more excited! These babies are such an awesome miracle!

Identical Twins!!!!

We found out we were having twins when I was 9 weeks pregnant. It actually wasn't to much of a shock because we joked about about it when we found out I was pregnant.

When we got in the office my dr asked all the normal questions and we joked about seeing 2. When he started the ultrasound he was quiet but then he said how did you know about there being 2? We kinda looked at him and said are you serious and he said yeah look... 2 heartbeats!!! We were happy and a little shocked to find out our joking was true but it was wonderful at the same time!

We went for a second diagnostic ultrasound which just confirmed the first one and we told our parents we were having twins at that point. It was so funny to see everyone's reactions considering we weren't going to have anymore babies but me staying home to save money changed our minds. Plus, we kinda wanted to try for a boy because we have 2 girls.

Now we just have to wait until February 10th to find out what we are having and I'm sooo excited/nervous/apprehensive to find out. I'm praying and begging God for 2 identical little boys but either way as long as my babies are healthy that's all that really matters. 4 girls is a lot of girls in the house for my poor husband. He's a trooper so he'll just take it in stride like he does everything else in our lives.

Speaking of husband. Have I mentioned how wonderful mine is? He is one of the kindest men out there. He puts us first and takes care of us so well. I can't wait til I'm not drop dead tired anymore to start being able to take better care of him again. He deserves it! I love him with everything I have, heart, soul, body, and mind! Yup, that much! Amazing just about sums him up!

My two little girls Mia(6) and Grace(4) are absolutely the greatest little girls ever! I couldn't be blessed with 2 more wonderful little ladies. Just pray for me anyway though. 4 kids is a lot for anyone! At least my girls are a little older. I feel bad for the people who have toddlers and then have twins. My girls will be going into First Grade and Pre-school shortly after they are born. That way I'll have like 3 days a week were I'll only have 2 kids to take care of for a few hours. It's still a lot but probably a little easier than 4 precious angels vying for my attention at once.

Well, I think I got just about caught up, at least for the last 4 months.

I am 18 weeks and technically 5 days now :) it's after midnight.