And more time passes...

It's been way to long since I have posted.

I love being a twin mom. It is just very time consuming. I didn't realize how easy it was to only have one baby at a time. I thought it was so hard. Not that it isn't hard to have one, but that 2 is so different. My babies are so well behaved though that it's actually pretty easy now that we have a somewhat schedule. Nothing that can't be worked around because I hate set schedules with kids. My older daughters help me out so much and I appreciate them even more! I love my daughters. I am so very blessed.

We've been doing and deciding alot about our family lately. We have so many things to still decide that my head feels like it's swimming! We are so blessed to have what we have and live in a great town and our daughters go to an awesome school. I've been dealing with people not liking what I have to say or what I believe but the childish way in which they deal with it is on them. Never have I pushed what I believe on anyone. It's just a shame that some people can not think for themselves. When you follow someone else you lose yourself. I definately beat to my own drummer and I'm truly happy. Most people can't say that. I know who I am, what I want and where I'm going. No one can take that from me. I just feel bad when I see people that don't have a mind of their own. Then other people take things so personally when it has nothing to do with them! It drives me up a wall. These past few months have been a real eye opener for me. I see so many people doing so many things thinking they are getting one over on others and talking trash when they have no clue how bad that makes them look. Sigh* I just pray and know I'm not perfect. At least I admit that and strive to do my best. God has given me so much and I have what most people don't get to experience ever in their life. I honestly have one of those loves that people get jealous over and will do anything to mess it up. It's wonderful to be above the nonsense and know you have a best friend, love and partner for life! Greg you are my best friend. You are amazing and I love you! All the nonsense and crap we've been through is all worth it to have you every night and every day! You are a wonderful daddy and husband. You provide for us more than just a roof over our heads and dinner on the table, you provide us all with love. From me, to Mia who you love like your own, to our big girl Gracie and our little twinkies, Zoe and Olivia. We are blessed more than stuff, we have love. In abundance. That is such a true joy to know. If people could learn from you how to be a man than this world would be a better place! Thank you!

That being said. My photography is doing really well. I love it and I love making people feel great when they see the pictures and seeing how adorable their kids are the looks I capture from husband to wife and vice versa. It's a joy to photograph all the nuances of life.

Duty calls... Time to feed the twins...

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I am on a diet! I'm trying to hit my goal by My birthday. 50 lbs in 5 months. I really think it's possible! I need to so that I feel healthy. It's all about moderation and I'm going to keep at it til I get to my goal! At the halfway mark I'm going to celebrate and post again. That should be sometime in December. I'm going to work hard so next summer I'll look better than I did before I got pregnant with the twins. I can do this! I can do this! Greg's on the diet with me too. I'm not doing some fad I'm just watching my calories and fat and carbs. I want to be healthy and thin like I was when Greg and I got back together 3 years ago. I was 148 lbs. I can do that again! In about 2 weeks it will be 3 years since we got back together and 6 years this week since we started dating. October is a our month apparently, and it's his birth month too. That's just another reason fall is my favorite season!

It's been far too long!!

These are Zoe's Toes. My little girl has pretty big feet! I love my little girls! So glad they are here and filling up my days with diaper changes and nursing them. It's amazing how great they are and how we've just adapted to having twins. I don't even feel like there's two unless they cry at the same time. lol They hardly ever cry. I am so absolutely blessed to have them! Mia and Gracie love* their new sisters so much! They are both such a big help and Grace just does so well with them. I am so proud of them and how well they have adjusted to being a family with 4 kids instead of just 2. I love them all dearly. God has blessed me and my family so much.

One Sunday this summer my parents took the twins so we could go to the beach with the big girls and just have fun and both of us go in the water with them. It was a perfect summer day! The only sad part was I got bit by one of those awful green head flies and had to go to the ER. Ugh! I had to go alone and get steroids because one of the bites got swollen, red and hot. Gross! They gave me a triple shot of steroids and it went down by the next night.

When the twins were first born they both fit in the bassinet together. For the most part they would just sleep together and soothe each other. They barely cried when they were together. Every once in a while if I didn't get to them fast enough after they woke up to feed them they would start trying to eat each others arms and faces. It was cute til they would start yelling at each other. I just adore them!

This is one of my favorite pictures from the day one the beach. I actually got waist deep with my expensive camera to get the shots I wanted. At one point the waves were starting to break up my back and neck. the strap on my camera got wet. It was a great day with my big girls and husband. I love my baby girls, but my big girls needed the attention that day and they thoroughly enjoyed mommy and daddy paying 100% attention to them for a few well deserved hours.

These girls are so awesome! I love editing the pictures I take of them as much as I love capturing the pictures. They just bring so much light into my life. With out them I think my world would be so boring. I always knew I wanted kids I just nevered realized how much I would completely love being a mommy. My children are the light of my life. God gives me so much. We have some things, but we have more in love than we do anything else. I would much rather have this great love we all share than all the stuff in the world. Stuff doesn't giggle with you when you're being silly in the kitchen making cupcakes. Stuff doesn't surprise you with a clean living room and clean kids and a hot meal on the table. Yes, I believe I'll take all the love we have over stuff anyday!

I love how the just play! It's so amazing to see them play like kids. Being an adult it's sometimes hard to let go like a child and just play but these kids know how to bring it out in you. I'd be pretty boring with out them. They make me a better person. The man I married makes me a better person. We push each other to be better. He makes me so happy. I don't know many people who have the kind of love we share. Anyone who doesn't see the love we share is  probably a complete emotional void. Love like ours doesn't come around very often and when it does you embrace it and hold onto it for all it's worth. He's my better half.

My pretty princesses in their preemie outfits. They were so tiny! I am so blessed they got to come home with us! I'll finish my birth story now...

The night I went into labor I just remember being starving. Greg worked late and I asked him to stop and get me a Big Mac. lol

After I ate my sandwich about 20 minutes later I had to go potty. I stood up and started walking across the living room. About half way across I heard a ripping sound. My head whipped around and I looked at Greg and I asked him if he heard it. He said no because he was talking to the big girls. I went to the bathroom and my water started leaking. The ripping noise was my water breaking!

I called Greg in and he started getting all panicky, it was super cute. Mia had fallen asleep in the few minutes I was in the bathroom. Greg went over to her and told her it was time for the twins to come and she shot up and while Greg hopped in the shower she dressed herself her sister and finished packing their bag. In the 5 minutes it took Greg to shower my contractions became unbearable! I was bouncing around the house like a ball because they were so intense. We left the house around 12:00. We dropped the girls off at his parents house and got to the hospital at 12:34, great number. lol

They checked me and I was already 7 cm. My contractions were right on top of each other. They asked how long I had been in labor it had only been like 35-40 minutes. I told them to hurry up and for some dumb reason they debated on whether or not it was time to take me to the O.R. because unfortunately that is where twins are delivered.

When they got smart after I told them they had 15-20 minutes til I had these babies they took me to the O.R. The anasthesiologist showed up and everything was going so fast they didnt give me an IV yet so they had him give it to me. Well by the time the jerk started putting it in I was pushing Zoe out at 12:54am. Then as I'm getting ready to push Olivia out 6 min later at 1:00am he's telling me that if anything goes wrong they'll have to give me general anasthesia. Really dude? I'm didn't need an epidural for any of my labors, what makes you think half way through me pushing my twins out I'm going to need one? Can I say my hips popped back into place after I had them! They shrunk right back and my cracked pelvis healed awesome! The hardest most painful thing I have ever done in my life has been to carry my twins full term. I now know how strong I am and there isn't anything in this world that I can't do. If I can deal with the pain of carrying twins and the super intense short labor, nothing can hurt that badly. It was the most intense hour of pain in my life. The labor for Mia and Grace was easy compared to my labor with the twins. I guess it took a lot to put everything to rights after because I had tons of pain after delivery too. I never needed the motrin, but this time I took it, gladly! When I nursed the contractions were terrible like I was still in labor. Ugh! But I stuck it out and now I have fabulous nursers, 3 months later. They are still on the small side but they are really healthy little girls. Strong and hitting their milestones perfectly. They are my little miracles. I am so glad God gave me the opportunity to be a mom to twin little princesses. Amazing to see them grow and change and do things the same day or a few days apart.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It's been soo long!

I just wanted to put something up for now. I haven't been on and updated in a while because I have been so busy from taking care of 4 kids now. I have doubled my children in one pregnancy. lol I am so happy with my babies and I couldn't be happier since they've been born. I've been sleep deprived a little bit since they've arrived but I would rather have them out then have them in my belly causing all that crazy horrible pain. I had them at exactly 37 wks from my last period. I am madly in love with my little ladies! I wouldn't trade them for anything they make me sooo happy. My big girls have been such a huge help.

I had such an easy labor and delivery, besides the crazy anestesioligists who wanted to do more than give me an IV while I was pushing. He really annoyed me. Other than that It was fantastic! I'll add more later with a more detailed birth story. :)

Repost of my ticker...

So close but yet feels sooo far!!

So, I'm 32 weeks 3 days now and I really just want to be done!!! This is the worst pain I have ever been in! Any one who sees my facebook knows all this. I just wish that I could magically have my babies be healthy and fully matured and come out like next week! My belly looks like it's dropping already and I hope it is cause if this is the pressure I have to deal with and they haven't really dropped I will be so upset cause that means the bad pain is yet to come. I really think that my labors are way worse than I think they are but because I have so much pain up til the end that it doesn't feel as bad because I've built up a pain tolerance like a mo fo during pregnancy... lol I think that is the best way to put it. haha








So this wednesday I went to the hospital for my TTTS ultrasound and my NST and I really, I mean really hated it!!! It was so uncomfortable and it made me contract to terribly! And they made me do it for another 10 min or so after I was done!! I understand that the amount of contractions I was having was alarming but it was because of the position I was in and the 3 bands wrapped around my belly!! It was one of the most uncomfortable things I've had to do. I was so irritated I started to cry and the contractions I was having were the worst ones I've had so far. I really think that one of these tuesdays that I have to go for the ultrasounds I will wind up in labor from the irritation. I think the contractions I have during the tests will make me dilate and my water break. At least I'll be in the hospital already.





So, being pregnant as time goes by I get really upset about certain things. My husband, Greg, rides a motorcycle. Today some woman was driving her car so far up his butt she almost hit him and I was behind her. Honestly if she had hit him I would have stopped my car too and punched her in the face!!! So me being the crazy hormonal person I've become I screamed out my window at her to back off! Then she stopped on a dime and made a left. I yelled at her again. She truly needs driving lessons! Who in their right mind rides right up a person on a motorcycles rear! People are sooo stupid!





One of the other things bothering me is how many people that are trying to get pregnant that want twins... I know twins are cute and you think one pregnancy and done. I truly don't think people get that it's high risk to begin with and that it is HARD on your body! You have to eat more, gain more, worry more, go to the Dr's more and even if you do everything you possible can for the babies things can still go wrong! I have done everything above and beyond for my babies and they still have issues. One of my precious little girls isn't gaining as much weight as her sister. The bigger twin has a better spot on the placenta and is getting better/more nutrition because of it. I have done everything in my power but this can still happen. I am hoping that my girls gain weight like crazy! I'm having a hard time eating much. I'm just not hungry and food doesn't seem as appealing to me anymore. I think I'm just getting tired of being pregnant and I'm close to the end so I'm starting to just rest a lot.




Another thing is I've been looking on a lot of forums this pregnancy and for the most part people are kind and helpful. I also have been seeing a lot of young girls that are pregnant and they have no clue what is going on. I honestly got most of my information from good pregnancy books I bought and googling a few things for more indepth answers. I also ask my dr things all the time. I actually have a friend that is an ob/gyn and I can just test her when I can't find an answer. She's amazing. I just wish that when you got pregnant for the first time your Dr would hand you required reading material so that these young women could be informed about their bodies and what is going on with their babies. There is so much false information going around and I can't correct everyone because people will believe what they want to. I just wish that if I did have the time to do it that people wouldn't look at me like a know it all or a pushy person. I just know the falsehoods that get passed around as truth and it breaks my heart seeing people feed into the bs that they hear. Its not right and I get really bent outta shape. Not angry just upset that these people don't know that truth. I appreciated everyone who gave me good advice and sent me in the right direction. These woman get upset if you tell them something other than what they've believed or heard from a friend or just plain made up themselves. I pray for them that someone they respect in their lives comes along and gives them good advice.




Ok, enough rants. I am in pain hoping this pregnancy ends in like 3 weeks and praying the babies are completely healthy and grow a lot more. I am very excited and I don't want to rush them out but I am in pain and pray they are mature. Love my aliens!!!

My joking turned reality

So, jokingly I have been saying for a few months that Olivia makes me eat a lot, and Zoe makes me eat healthy. Well, at my ultrasound today we found out that Olivia is about 12 oz bigger than Zoe. The last few times they have been pretty close like a quarter pound or less. Now they are 3 quarters of a pound apart and it happened in the last 4 weeks. From now on I have to go once a week and get an ultrasound and NST. So, I will be in the hospital for about 3 hours or so every tuesday. Yay me... :( I have to find a sitter which is going to be a pain, cause we can't really pay anyone right now.

Olivia went from 1 lb 15 oz in four weeks to 3 lbs 7 oz and Zoe went from 1 lb 11 oz in four weeks to 2 lbs 11 oz. I'm just upset because I can't do anything to beef her up on my own. I'm really tired from all of the things I learned this morning. I have to take a nap. I'll add more later.